Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
