she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
