let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
