so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
