i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
