I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
