Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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