So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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