weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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