Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
