Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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