Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
