Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
This is my gift to your gina
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
