I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
