Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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