we're chasing vodka with high fives
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
