i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
