Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just cropdusted the office
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
