Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
