How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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