just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
