If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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