What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
