I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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