Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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