Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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