I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
