ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
