if you like me you must not know who I am
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
