thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
