Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
