What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
