Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Too much gin, very little bucket
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
