is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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