where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
