is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
