3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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