it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he fucked my hip out of place.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
