Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
