does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
