My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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