We're like a lot better than the average bears
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
