everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Randomize
