So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
