a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
