I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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