the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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