I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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