matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
