my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
COCAINE IS GR8
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
