I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
