Nicole vs. Life
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I think im going to throw up on grandma
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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