I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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