I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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