Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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