Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
