dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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